Thursday, November 6, 2008

For me, acceptance is the answer

I spent much of my life fighting an uphill battle, disagreeing with the majority, fighting the trends..... accepting nothing. Mostly what I did find acceptable (prior to sobriety) was only due to forcing my will and caused harm to others, which was acceptable to me at the time. I could find an excuse to justify any action or behavior of mine, no matter how wrong it was because I could not accept that I was wrong.

Today I am thankful and grateful that I am not that person who finds the majority of his life and this world unacceptable. I am also astounded at the transformation that has occurred within and around me since gaining a true understanding of the word acceptance.

First came admitting, "Hi, my name is 'X' and I am an alcoholic."

Something I had heard from a number of people around me in my life over the years, but us true alcoholics can't be told that..... either we see it or we don't. Nobody is going to tell me that! Don't you know who I am? I am different than all the others you have seen or known.

Well, be that as it may, or may not be..... admitting it is a big step. But they key to it was the ACCEPTANCE of the statement "Hi, my name is 'X' and I am an alcoholic." Knowing it, feeling it, owning it.

That didn't take too long from the time I first said it in the rooms of AA. A few months of coming around; hearing but not listening, talking the talk but not walking the walk, half measures and the like..... I drank again, one more time.

I doesn't matter why. It doesn't matter how I justified it in my mind or how well I could play the blame game. The fact is I raised the glass to my mouth and poured another drink down 'poor Me's' throat. Like any good alcoholic, I cannot recall ever once having 'a drink' in my life. A drink indicates one, as in singular. What would be the point of that? One drink to me was always unacceptable and certainly still was in this instance.

Long story short, a few drinks later I found myself in the midst of some unacceptable behavior which had unacceptable results, although they were very real. I had to accept that my reaction to alcohol had now progressed to the point that I 'broke out in handcuffs' when I consumed it.

It was then I was perched atop a very narrow fence, the line between sanity and insanity, life and death. It was then I had to make a decision. I had to either face what I had learned in AA as being true and accept it for what it is or go do more 'research' with potentially more devastating results.

Accpetance of what happened that night; owning the actions, reactions and outcome helped me accpet the truth about me and the chaos I had caused and warmly welcomed into my life all along.

Acceptance of the fact that I can fit into this world without alcohol or drugs in my system and actually be a productive member of society as such.

Acceptance of the fact that I can be helped and I can help others in much the same way.

Accepting that I am an alcoholic and addict has been one of the hardest decisions to come to but has yeilded me the greatest gifts of my lifetime.

I am not afriad of alcohol or drugs. I cannot get drunk if I don't pick up that first drink..... GUARANTEED!

I do not look down on those who can or do drink/drug casually. If you can honestly say you are truly happy and can accept every aspect of your life while living that way, great! More power to ya, but beware..... it is an insideous disease, cunning, baffling & powerful. Alcoholism / Addiction, they are diseases that tell you that you do not have a disease, that you are not sick at all but fine.

Acceptance of all of this today makes life each day so much easier to accept, no matter what my Higher Power has planned for me.

So, yes..... Acceptance is the answer for me today.

31 comments:

AlkySeltzer said...

Hi, JASG! Thank you for showing up in my "favorite people" section. I wondered how one gets more of those, I see some bloggers with 50 or more.
(In that case, my Ego would want 51!)
-GRIN-

"key to it was the ACCEPTANCE of the statement "Hi, my name is 'X' and I am an alcoholic." Knowing it, feeling it, owning it."

Just for me--and my low mentality--I was told to say, "I am an Alcoholic, and my name is 'X'...

That statement--again, for me--internalized 'what I AM'!

Just Another Sober Guy said...

Alky S..... love the name BTW!

Yeah, they key fo me sure was acceptance and of course willingness.

I never really gave it much though but the reversal of the statement.....

"I am an Alcoholic, and my name is 'X'

.....it does make sense. I hear many people in the rooms say their name first so I sometimes do, sometimes don't. Now I will think more about it thanks to reading your comment.

Oh..... and only 51? Come on! My ego would add a zero rather than change the existing zero to a one! 500 baby! If you're gonna go for it, ya might as well go BIG!

Thanks for the comment!

Keep Comin Back! ;)

Kristin H. said...

Hi Dave, Alky threatened to '86 my site from his blogroll if I didn't come over and say hi.

JUST KIDDING!!

But seriously, glad you have decided to join us.

Laura said...

Hi Dave,

I met you at Alky's party..he said..see that guy over there? He's new..say hello!

So here I is....and thank you for your honesty. You give hope to a mom like me...a mother of an cross addicted son...

:)

Just Another Sober Guy said...

Hi Kristen.... Laura! Nice to meet ya! I appreciate the support and will check out your stuff too.
Thanks again....
PEACE

big Jenn said...

Hi, came over to check you out via alky. Great post. Acceptance is the way yo live if you can get there. Non-resistance to whatever is. That's my goal! Alky turned everyone on to me a few days ago and I am so greatful! This is an awsome community!

PRAYER GIRL said...

It's my turn to welcome you. I thought your post was very "well said". I had to do that last desperate drunk myself and that "made all the difference". 23 years later I'm still sober, accepting it, and loving the way of life it brought me.

Come visit my site.

Prayer Girl

indistinct said...

Just dropping by to so hello and welcome.

Thank you for sharing.

Kathy Lynne said...

ego-a-roni suggested that I come visit and welcome you to blogland. I love this post because Acceptance is FINALLY what got me into AA, thank God. And that first time of saying out loud to a room full of people made all the difference in the world to me. Thanks for being here. I look forward to reading more. kathy

Cat said...

Acceptance is a mighty fine answer indeed!

Cat

Brad said...

Welcome to the Blogosphere! Great topic for a first post!

Brad :-)
aka "This Unmanageable Life"

Just Another Sober Guy said...

big Jenn, PRAYER GIRL, indistinct, Kathy Lynne, cat & brad.... Thank you so much for the warm welcome.

Is there a sober community within this site? Or is it we are just simply finding each other here?

big Jenn.... non-resistance is a good approach. I try not to resist my HP's will for me, that is the best thing I can do.

PRAYER GIRL.... that last desperate drunk gave me that gift of desperation. I will come check you out!

indistinct.... thanks for dropping by and welcoming me.

Kathy Lynne.... 'ego-a-roni' LOL That is funny! Saying it out loud and meaning it was key for me.

cat.... yep, the best answer I can come up with for most of my troubles today :)

brad.... thanks, kinda figured first posting should be about what basically equals the first step for me.

I look forward to getting to know you all a day at a time.

PEACE

Zanejabbers said...

Another Dave. WELCOME. I have a new cocktail these days - it is 12 parts THE STEPS, 12 parts THE TRADITIONS, 12 parts THE PRINCIPLES, and 12 parts THE PROMISES, a big dash of experience, an equal dose of strength, as much hope as one can gather, and VOILA - Sobriety. Welcome to the Sober Blogoshpere, I'm glad I followed Alky's advice.
Please drop by. You are the only one on the blogs that got the same question as me. Good Answer.

MICHAEL PATRICK said...

Dear JASG,
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS IS A CULT!!

MICHAEL PATRICK said...

THE 12 STEPS DOWN TO HELL

Dear JASG,
12 Step recovery programs are a slow slide into the jaws of Satan. I was involved with the evil “satanic cult” [AA] for over 30 years but was saved through the POWER of JESUS CHRIST.

He directed me to a counsellor who was into “real” recovery, not the mind destroying, soul destroying, cult, which is AA. I have met two Steppers recently & I imagine they are completely devoid of any emotion or insight.

I feel pain because both these men are decent human beings but AA has destroyed their "brain structure" & they have no idea how to relate apart from expounding AA propaganda.

I imagine Hell to be a continuous flow of AA meetings without any light at the end of the tunnel because one is never REDEEMED. I beg you, JASG, to get out before it is too late.

How is one REDEEMED, when one is handing one’s power over to AA. The 12 Steps were written out of Wilson’s head, he certainly didn’t get his guidance from the Bible. I imagine he was an agent of Satan & he & Smith’s “cult religion” has filled millions of Steppers with their anti - Christ propaganda.

Step Three of AA is "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." While many in the Oxford Group placed their faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, there was much leeway given.

Shoemaker, a leader of the Oxford Group, says, "The true meaning of faith is self-surrender to God." He further explains:
Surrender to whatever you know about Him, or believe must be the truth about Him. Surrender to Him, if necessary, in total ignorance of Him.

Far more important that you touch Him than that you understand Him at first. Put yourself in His hands. Whatever He is, as William James said, He is more ideal than we are. Make the leap. Give yourself to Him.

Aside from capitalizing the "H," which Christians do to refer to the God of the Bible, "Him" could refer to any god of one’s own making [BEDPAN).

Can you see what is happening to you, JASG? Ask JESUS to take control of your life, read the Bible & instead of 12 Step groups, go to Church. BURN your BIG BOOK or use it as TOILET PAPER.

Can you see the difference: With The 12 Steps, one is being CONTROLLED by SATAN, but with JOHN 3:16 one is offered ETERNAL SALVATION. The “ball is in your court," JASG,?

MICHAEL PATRICK said...

Dear JASG,
JESUS CHRIST OR AA?

MICHAEL PATRICK said...

Dear Dave,
ONLY ONE WAY TO GOD - JESUS CHRIST!!

AA denies CHRIST & the STEPPERS who claim to be CHRISTIAN are participating in it.... AA too is participating in the doctrine of the anti -Christ.

MICHAEL PATRICK said...

MY Dear David,
FREE GIFT of ETERNAL LIFE!!

MICHAEL PATRICK said...

METANOIA

Dear Davy,
12 Steppers are continually captivated by their past memories (drinking stories) & are fascinated with the dead & unchanging image of what it was like for them as practicing alcoholics.

Why do they attend meetings? So they can hear the other BILL & BOB CLONES talk about the past & stay in the land of the dead.

12 Step programs are the greatest horror story, because the Steppers have been so indoctrinated -- they aren't aware they are lifeless robots. They can do nothing to save themselves while they continue to attend 12 Step meetings.

I have had a mutation of the mind (METANOIA) -- through the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Salvation is always the ending of the mind's fascinated identification with the dead & unchanging image of what it was".

It is the complete reversal of the "natural" order of things, a METANOIA -- the Greek word for repentance, meaning precisely a turning-around of the mind, so that it no longer faces into the past, the land of the shadow of death, but into the ETERNAL PRESENT.

So long as the mind is captivated by memory, and really feels itself to be that past image -- which is "I", it can do nothing to save itself; its sacrifices are of no avail, & its law gives no life".

Buchman, Wilson & Smith have done an excellent job; Wilson talked to "dead people" & if you too want to talk to DEAD PEOPLE [ZOMBIES], attend an AA meeting.

AlkySeltzer said...

Dave, please write me a note, Email...if ya get time tuesday. OK?
note-a-roni

Just Another Sober Guy said...

Oh man! That didn't take long!

Although I appreciate your individuality and opinion and beliefs Mr. Patrick, I am inclined to stronly disagree.

It is my opinion and that of many others that the AA program is founded and based on Christian beliefs and philosophies. They idea a your Higher Power being your choice is to open the door to those who believe in other faiths or have no beliefs at all.

I know many who could not get sober after years of trying. They finally came to work the steps and when it came to the 3rd, they acted 'as if'. Lo and behold they actually today have faith in God.

I was raised in church and believed in God as a child and felt that God didn't belive in or care for me as an adult. Today I believe in God and I feel God with me, guiding me, putting good people and things in my life and helping me through my struggles.

You are entitled to your opinion and beliefs just as much as any Muslim, Hindu or Jew. It is my belief that we all walk down different roads to the same God. In any religion there have always been radicals killing each other in the name of God.

God is Love.... Love your brothers and stop spewing hate for a program that must have had something to offer as you chose to stay around it for 30+ years.

Thanks again for stopping by but please, do not ring my doorbell with those little books in your hand. I don't need you to tell me God loves me.

PEACE

MICHAEL PATRICK said...

Have you CONDEMNED yourself, Davy?

SATANIC ILLUSION WAS BASIS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS!!

Cat said...

Acceptance is the start to new beginings! Wonderful post - can't wait for more!

Cat

MICHAEL PATRICK said...

Cat said...
Annette,
So sorry you got hit by MP. He is the community Loon - and he will visit when your comments are open for spam - its his specialty. I think he has hit just about everyone I know.


Dear Cat,
Was your father a "loon"?

Please enter HELL, CAT - SHAPE SHIFTING REPTILE!!

MICHAEL PATRICK said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
MICHAEL PATRICK said...

SOUND OF SOBRIETY

Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk crap again,
An AA meeting softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the 12 Steps that were planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of sobriety.

In restless meetings I walked alone
Bill Wilson Clones, made of stone
Neath the halo of an OLD TIMER,
I turned my collar to the 1st and 3rd Step
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING
That split the night
And touched the sound of sobriety.

And in the naked light I saw
A million STEPPERS, maybe more.
STEPPERS reading the BIG BOOK,
STEPPERS hearing without listening,
STEPPERS writing their 4TH STEP
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of sobriety.

ZOMBIES said I, you do not know
BUCHMANISM like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might BRAINWASH you,
Take my arms that I might 13TH STEP you.
But my words like the higher power fell,
And echoed
In the halls of sobriety

And the STEPPERS ranted and raved
To the AA god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, KEEP COMING BACK
IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT

And the 12 STEP ZOMBIES,
Whispered in the sounds of sobriety.
.

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

MICHAEL PATRICK said...

I LOVE JESUS SO MUCH

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE ANY CAUSE OR REASON TO BE ASHAMED TO LOVE JESUS.


Is not the time coming, and the day hastening, when covetous men shall be ashamed of loving the world, and voluptuous men ashamed of loving their pleasures, and ambitious men ashamed of loving their honours?

For is it not a horrid shame, that a rational creature should be such a sot as to love sin which is most loathsome, and not to love Jesus who is most lovely? To love deformity, and not beauty?

Oh shame, shame! It is a shame that sin should have such esteem, and Jesus such great contempt put upon him. But shame shall before long confound these now shameless wretches, when they shall cry out, "We are ashamed that we loved profits, and not Jesus- houses, lands, lusts, and not Jesus.

This is the confusion of our faces, and shame covers us-- that we should be so foolish, and so blind, that we had not sense, nor reason, to distinguish between sin, which is the greatest and most odious evil, and Jesus who is the greatest and most lovely good." But the time will never come, the day will never be, that a gracious soul shall be ashamed of his sincere love to Jesus Christ.

MICHAEL PATRICK said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Zanejabbers said...

I'm glad you found "cm" Don't let the Devil From DoWn Under" get to you he is just our resident LOON.
He lives in Sydney Australia hence the name DFDU. Please DO NOT LET HIM run you off. He has others. You have started off so well, keep them coming.

Syd said...

Looks like you've been Mickeyied by the troll. Just enable comment moderation and he'll disappear.

I like your discussion on acceptance.

Just Another Sober Guy said...

Thanks Syd.... yeah I already took care of that little problem ;)

Thanks for stopping by!