Sunday, March 22, 2009

A Gift that Some Do Not Get

Hello fellow bloggers and sober folks. It has been a while, more than a few 24's for sure. Living sober and doing the next right thing has kept me quite busy, happy, joyous & free!

I wanted to share about something I recently experienced. I came to understand that this gift of sobriety, as priceless as it is, is one that some just never get. Knowing me... the old me, the substantially altered me... I have kind of felt that if I could get sober and see/feel the difference in my life, I kinda though anyone could. In reality anyone can if they are as willing as only the dying can be.

In the past couple of weeks I have heard more bad news than I care to hear. Two deaths and one who is "done with all 12 steppers" because there is too much bull$hit and he has enough of that in his life.

One death, a man two years younger than I, a long time coming. After numerous hospitalizations and being told each time he would die if he drank again, the disease finally won. A heart attack brought on by DT's stopped his heart for long enough that he was brain-dead when the brought him back. He was subsequently taken off of life support by his parents a day or two later. An old timer I know who was close to him said this man was "the most hard headed case he ever encountered" in his 20+ years in AA. Although I did not know him well, I knew him and had spoken with him a few times. I now feel as if I know him better know than I really did.

The other death, a murder, a young lady (20 something) who celebrated a year sober last summer. She was noticeably absent from the rooms in the fall and recently gotten a DUI. Hope was this might be a wake up call to get her back on track... within a week or two she was killed. Word was she had gotten back into 'the scene' and had gotten into heroin. The details are sketchy and the investigation is ongoing. Many have been devastated by this turn of events. She was buried on Friday.

The guy who says he is done with all 12 steppers, well he may not be far behind the other two. He is a closer personal friend of mine. We have spent time together in and out of the rooms. His problem is not as much with alcohol as it is with cocaine. He relapsed last spring, using an ounce of coke in a weekend and never had a drink. He still hasn't drank in like two years now. It seems that he thinks he can 'control' his using since he recently only did it once. I have written to him and heard nothing... it is beyond my control. All I can do is reach out and let him know I am here if he needs me. The rest is between him and God. I pray we don't bury him soon.

As for me, I know where a drink or drug will take me... someplace I never want to be again, or someplace I might never be able to come back from. I am grateful for the program and fellowship of AA. Not only did AA save my life, I have been given a new life. It is my choice to do what I have to in order stay sober one day at a time. It involves work and more work. Yesterday's sobriety will not keep me sober today.

I pray that you all have a great week, month and year ahead and that nobody has to bury anyone close to them as a result of the disease winning. Thanks for reading if ya did!

Peace, Love & Prayers

9 comments:

steveroni said...

Already buried five this year. Two, suicide, one motorcycle accident, two from 'natural' causes, aka, what else? Alcoholism!

Good post, thanks.
Steve E.

Just Another Sober Guy said...

Thanks Steve... there have been others this year already too. This was just last week these two were buried. I hate this disease but love my medicine!

Cat said...

My husband and I were talking about all of the people who we know who have died due to not getting sober - died because of the addiction they could not get a hold of, could not control or embrace a program that worked and since he has gotten sober - we have been much more aware of exactly how fortunate we are that he was able to...

Good reminder today.

Just Another Sober Guy said...

Thanks Cat... fortunate doesn't come close for me... I have been given a gift, miracle cure... for sure.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

I have had a few folks go out this year and that has been hard, of course, this is a great post and I thank you for writing it...the journey though painful is always thought provoking and heart melting...thank you!

clean and crazy said...

I just stopped by via prayer girls blog, saw you on her roll and thought i would stop by.
death puts this disease into a whole new light sometimes. I am grateful you get it. I am grateful I stopped by to read your very powerful and honest message of recovery.
my name is suzie and i am an addict, and i totally relate to what you just said about why some people don't get it but i do.
i friend of mine just recently lost her little baby daughter, sids, and she has just a couple of years clean. you know the power of prayer and through the grace of god she did not use, nor did she have a desire too. in fact she told us when at the hospital, the doctors wanted to sedate her to calm her down. she refused the drugs and told us she knew if she numbed the pain she would have numbed the good as well and she knew she needed to feel this. i am grateful everyday for those who get it, i am grateful i am one, and i am grateful you are too. and i take a moment of silence every night for those who don't. thanks for this post.

Mike said...

Very Interesting!

Mike said...

FANTASTIC!

Mike said...

INCREDIBLE!